Malia Crete night life

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The Beach Road is infamous for dodgy kebabs and burgers - beware! (although most of the people who eat them are so beered up, that when they are ill, it could be either the beer or the burger!!). There are a few select places that I would recommend along the Beach Road - most are ok, offering English food, pizzas and chips. If you want authentic cuisine do not even bother here!
Towards the bottom of the Beach Road there is Electra Cafe. They serve up great curries, Greek style dishes and also fish & chips (bit of a mixture!). This is one of the only places where I didn't feel hurried eating my meal (waiters seemed to 'hover' everywhere else!). Europa is also ok, one of the waiters gave us some great info about where to go and what to see! However this place, like most others, is the usual pizza and chips 'restaurant'. The prices are only slightly cheaper than they are in England - pay around £3 for a Greek salad and £4 for a pizza. I expected it to be much cheaper, after staying in Corfu a few years ago - but it isn't!
The Old Town has some more picturesque restaurants and definitely is the place for a more romantic meal (although I went there with a female friend!). Don't expect authenticity though! We went to a quaint restaurant by the name of Cordon Bleu, very nice menu, about £15 for two courses including wine, but the staff were entirely English, including the chef!!
There are other places that looked appealing in the old town, I was recommended the Stone House cafe, however as we went at the start of the season, most were still closed. Most restaurants however cheap/expensive serve bread with your meal, whether you ask for it or not! They will add it to your bill whether or not you eat it - so remember to tell them when ordering if you don't want any! You will also be served a free shot/long drink of the local tipple at the end of your meal - raki or Ouzo. Beware! Both are quite strong and potent in large quantities!! (my mate has regrets relating to this one!).
Malia - Drinking
Now to most important bit of my holiday! It is extremely unwise to go to Malia if you are teetotal! Much of the nightlife here centres around getting totally paralytic! The main club/pubs open their doors from about 10pm onwards - although nowhere hots up until about 1am. Most stay open until at least 4 so be prepared to arrive back in your apartment after sunrise! The Beach Road is littered with every kind of bar you could imagine - you have Flares (70s themed bar), The Red Lion (very English and also serves food), Zoo (which wasn't open when I was there but I have heard they have a body piercing studio within!?!) and many English named places (Newcastle, Club UK etc!!).
Many new clubs were popping up everyday (literally!) when I arrived! One of my favourites was the Kings Club - next door to a very distinct looking castle bar! You cannot miss it as it is in the centre of the Beach Road. There are English touts EVERYWHERE! Trying to get you into their pub/club with the promise of a free shot (you do get it if you are persistent and female!!). They get more money, the more people they drag in....so you can see why they are so persistent! It does get very annoying - so much so, that you practically have to hide when you go past some places, or run!! Another decent place is Corkers which gets quite busy. Look out for some of the DJs, they are a bit obscure! (there was a 65 year old English bloke in one of the bars where I went and another chap looked about 12 - bizarre!!).